noticing, staying open
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I remember this day. I walked out of the yoga studio where I had been at teacher training all day. We practiced bandhas that day. The teacher was adamant about the integrity of our breath and the engagement of our muscles. She kept reminding us to release expectations and simply engage in the practice, and most importantly, “stay open and notice.”
I cant remember why I didn’t ride my bike that day, but after class I decided to walk a few blocks before hopping in a Lyft to my house across the city. I observed the world around me as if I wasn’t part of it, yet feeling like WAS IT all at once. Noticing, staying open.
The majestic views ahead and the way the light grazed the buildings, pulled me closer to the stuff beyond our bodies. I felt connected to the sidewalks and sounds of the city, and I never reached for my phone to call that Lyft. Or for anything for that matter. I knew the destination, I paid little attention to the streets I turned on to get there - the way I got there didn’t matter, the HOW I got there did.
The how in this case, was noticing myself expanding past my skin. It was seeing the rays of sun piercing through the thin layer of fog hovering over the city in the summer, and knowing deeply in that moment that I am made of that also. Noticing, staying open.
I wanted to be even more in that moment, if at all possible, to hold it longer and squeeze it tighter. Whenever I feel this, it becomes a decision of staying in it fully with my entire being and without distractions, or reaching for a camera to capture it. I held off on reaching for the camera most of the walk, until I made it a few blocks from my house and knew that I wanted to have a bookmark for this day.
My phone had run out of battery but I found a barely-charged camera in my backpack. I took a deep breath inhailing this sensation into my memory, *click*.
Noticing, staying open.
∞ ♥ rf